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Please note that this blog article talks about eating disorders, so if thatā€™s not for you, please donā€™t read this. Your mental health is more important than my little blog doodles.

Greetings, University of New Haven! Itā€™s a beautiful sunny day here on campus today, so break out your hammocks and t-shirts: Summer is on the way, baby.

And thank God for that dudes. I am the living embodiment of a lizard. I do not produce heat at all. I just sort of lay around in the sun and hope that my body does photosynthesis of something. The warmer weather, at least on my part, has been greatly appreciated.

Speaking of, in light of the upcoming change in season, I thought it may be a good time to check in and catch up. Finals are almost around the corner, and there is plenty of work to be done in the meantime. So, why not take a moment to grab a snack and ā€œchatā€ with your friendly neighborhood disaster? Iā€™m sure your homework wonā€™t mind.

Lately, there have been a lot of changes in my life. I tried writing about where I am in my eating disorder recovery, and it just turned into a massive rant. This blog, while meant to be a space of transparency, isnā€™t a place where I feel comfortable just dumping stuff. Thatā€™s just not right. After letting myself feel the feels for a while, hereā€™s the tea, dudes.

I had to fill out outpatient paperwork for eating disorder recovery.

I wasnā€™t a happy camper in the slightest, though anyone in that position wouldnā€™t really be either. There were definitely tears, rage, frustration, and, frankly, a lot of fear. I worried about how intensive outpatient treatment (IOP) would interfere with my work schedule in the summer (i.e., EMS, other jobs, volunteering, etc.) but also just having fun?

This is my last summer as a teenager. I have spent the vast majority of my teens living less, and I am so freaking done doing that. I want to obliterate my wallet a little bit. Go cliff jumping or swimming in natural water. More hikes. More trail mix and fluffernutters, a sandwich made of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff for those who are curious. Great for hikes and days spent at Six Flags.

However, no change in oneā€™s life came without some sort of adversary or challenge. No transformation in the history of history ever happened without some sort of stimuli, whether that be positive or negative. (Note that whether the stimuli are positive or negative comes with oneā€™s perception of the matter at hand.)

To me, in that moment, IOP was enemy #1. A few days later, I came to a more unbiased view of it. I believe that if my providers are telling me the truth and do care about me, then maybe this is the next best step forward. If anything, maybe itā€™d help, though thatā€™s not to say I want to engage in it. Weā€™ll see what happens, I guess.

Outside of that, my mental health has been pretty swag, I guess. Seasonal depression? Donā€™t know her. I think my overall health has also been pretty good as well. Never underestimate the power of yoga, Pilates, and walking around campus. Movement, in general, will keep you alive longer than any medication (along with keeping your stress levels low at all times).

My favorite YouTube channels for yoga and Pilates include:

• Lidia Mera
• Madeline Abeid
• Boho Beautiful Yoga
• Yoga with Kassandra

Many of these peeps also have an Instagram to follow, so feel free to explore those as well! Some other YouTubers I enjoy watching are:

• Markiplier, FNAF king, funny silly internet man
• Nina Montagne (love her), lots of daily blogging, recipes, running
• Cheyenne Barton, art channel; love her designs and her cats
• Leigh Ellexon, also an art channel, but she has some more sophisticated designs that I love using as references; very good animal and nature pieces
• Dianna Lopez, chill vibey music for when you want to light some incense and chill
• Linda Sun, hidden gem of a YouTuber; really gets into prioritizing oneā€™s mental health, workload management, ED recovery, etc.
• Healing with Kailin, another ED recovery channel; such a gentle soul guys; leaned on her videos a whole bunch in the early days of my recovery

Outside of this, Iā€™m not a huge TV or movie fan, though there are some occasions I simply cannot miss watching something. When Iā€™m somehow not drowning in homework, I really enjoy drawing, singing (or messing around with an instrument of some sort), painting, learning something new, knitting (I cannot crochet for the life of me), and probably sleeping.

I swear, getting my sleep schedule to be semi-stable is probably my saving grace right now.

Speaking of that, I fell off the habit train and itā€™s been leaving me feeling very out of place. Normally, I start my mornings with brushing my teeth, making my bed, yoga/Pilates, and some meditation before taking a peek at my tarot for the day. Yet, I havenā€™t made the time to do that in a bit, though Iā€™m getting back onto the train. I started to wake up earlier again, given that the sun is up earlier and my circadian rhythm tends to follow that. As a whole, I think I need to slow down with my life more. I think doing that would really help, given that my life is mainly a chaotic onslaught of homework, work, uh, other work, and the rest of whatever one does to maintain homeostasis.

That being said, I need to stop going on electronics so early and stop watching TikToks. My attention span is almost negative five, and my schoolwork is greatly suffering as a result of endless scrolling, not to mention my mental health as a whole. At this point, I would really like the semester to end. Itā€™s not because I foster a particular dislike for my professors ā€“ far from that ā€“ but because Iā€™m just so tired all the time. Maybe I could be better at time management, or my grades could be more steady, but at the same time, I just want to go home and nap. lol.

There are a lot of moving parts to my life right now, and I dunno man, things are getting kinda crazy.

But at the same time, according to the statements made by my friends, Iā€™m also kinda crazy. Perhaps the insanity in my life cancels itself out? God knows.

I know Iā€™m not the only one feeling particularly ready for the semester to end, but at the same time, I know Iā€™m going to be thrilled to come back in the Fall and do it all over again. I will always love learning, I believe, which is why Iā€™m on the path that I am. Burnout just tends to make that alignment harder to recognize and hold onto.

Anyhow, before I get sappier than a maple tree, I hope everyone is having a lovely and most fantastic week, and that we are all ready for some well-deserved sunshine and rest. Love you all, and take care!

All the peace, love, and peanut butter,
Bea ā¤ļø

Beatrice Glaviano ā€™26 is a nutrition sciences major at the University of New Haven.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder and/or mental health concern, we are here to support you. Campus resources are available, free, and confidential.

• CAPS: (203) 932-7333 (Appointments, 24/7 Crisis Line)
• Health Services: (203) 932-7079 (24/7 Answering Service)
• Eating Disorder Helpline (ANAD): 1 (888)-375-7767

Campus Dietitian, Samantha Zajac-Standish, RDN, CDN
SZajac@newhaven.edu
(203) 836-4559