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I think I have this habit of publishing "meaningful life stuff," so honestly, I'm going to spend this entry talking about "pointless blah things" because I'm a little tired of being Master Oogway.

[Googles Random Question Generator]

Question #1: Do you have any medical conditions?

Bro, I just am a medical condition at this point, lol. But, seriously, I have ulcerative colitis, which is an autoimmune disease of the colon that I get immunosuppressants for every 6-8 weeks (hooray). As for physical injuries, here's a list:

• Broken leg
• Broken foot
• Hit a nerve too hard, fell out of a car, and seized
• Dropped a dumbbell on my face (ouch) (I felt bad for the ER doc)

In terms of mental health, that's a bit more complicated. Maybe another time.

Question #2: What is your favorite video game?

Oh boy. I watch Markiplier religiously, as I prefer gameplays rather than actually playing the games, so I get a lot of my favorites from him. Hmm. I suppose, at the end of the day, I absolutely love Resident Evil. Maybe it's because I'm a biology or medicine nerd, or perhaps I enjoy entertaining the thought of what if the world just went to zombies. Like, c'mon. I can't be the only one who thinks about a World War Z scenario while I'm driving on the highway. If I was going to recommend any games, however:

• Resident Evil (all of them)
• The Evil Within
• Five Nights at Freddy's
• Prey
• Alien: Isolation
• Amnesia
• SOMA (made by the same studio that made Amnesia; they have a lot of mind-boggling stuff)
• The Last of Us (Parts I & II)
• Lost in Space

Question #3: Are you a morning person or a night person?

I mean, considering my insane schedule, I'm a bit of both at this point (this is where the coffee comes in, by the way) because I don't have the option not to be. For example, it's 10:47 p.m. right now, and I'm probably going to get up around 7 a.m. tomorrow morning to get some chores done, hit the gym, and speedrun my lab homework and procedures that I haven't done yet. When it comes to homework, my ADHD tends to freak out about it because the assignments just fill up my phone screen and I get much too overwhelmed before I can begin to even deconstruct everything. Henceforth, procrastination. I'm getting better at it, though. Hopefully.

Question #4: What is your favorite holiday? Why?

Christmas. Hands down. (Thanksgiving is a really close second, though). Christmas always reminds me of when I was a child. Before things really got expensive here in CT, I used to go to the Hartford Club (located in Hartford, CT) that my aunt and uncle had a membership to. It's a hotel, essentially, and it would always smell of perfume and that lovely mix of breakfast sausage, eggs, and warm syrup. People always dressed classically as well; waiters prepped and polished to the 't'. However, my favorite part was getting to fool around with my siblings. We'd play hide and seek on the upper floors with my uncle or play pool in one of the club rooms that was always somehow down the right hallway.

I forgot how much I missed these memories. Wow.

I remember one time we lost the youngest sibling, Celeste, and that was some real panic. She must've been four or five at the time. And, oh, the art museum. Oh my God, my mother would always drag us to the Wadsworth. It's basically a smaller version of Yale's Art Museum, and frankly, a lot more boring. My mom found it a lot less boring though, probably because she was an adult and I still had maple syrup sticking to my hands. But it was boring, nonetheless. As an artist now, I suppose that I do owe my mom some sort of thanks when it comes to having exposure to art, but the art in museums doesn't always feel alive. To me, oftentimes, it just feels trapped. Art is an expression of thought, emotion, talent, and effort. If one doesn't understand those elements that go into a certain piece, then it's often a hit-or-miss situation.

So much of my life was centered on Christmas. There was the smell of my dad's rich cologne and the cologne of my uncles, the way the wallpaper looked so fresh on the walls, my uncle's chuckle, and the way my mom would tell us to cross our legs in order to be 'ladies.'

You can imagine that the last one wasn't agreed with very often.

After we would have brunch at the club, we'd go back to my aunt and uncle's house for presents. Nothing, to me, will ever beat the smell of fresh wrapping paper and bows mixed with the pine of the Christmas tree; it was always as though I could smell the shine of the Christmas lights that reflected on them. Nothing beat how my mom's hands made the best, chunkiest, warmest, melt-in-your-mouth oatmeal raisin cookies. I remember how heavy the snow fell upon the windows, how crisp the air was; and my sisters' laughs and smiles. How young and alive everyone looked. How happy.

Last Christmas, I had one of the worst heartbreaks I've ever been through. It was a needed one, but I don't recommend breaking up with anyone before finals. I remember crying over Wham's "Last Christmas," and trying to find joy through so much pain. It's so much harder to find joy as an adult. Sometimes, you just know that the world is messed up and trying to believe otherwise is a little foolish. But, maybe, this Christmas, I will forget the world for a day. I will pay no mind to the calories in my uncle's pecan pie and savor the words of my cousins. Maybe. We'll see what happens.

Question #5: What is your favorite animal?

I have a top three: Giraffes, sloths, and cats (in no particular order).

Question #6: What are your pet peeves?

Dear God. Open cabinets. I just can't do it. Just close the cabinet; you're right there! Please. Just close it.

Question #7: How did heartbreak change you?

Heartbreak changed me in the way you sweep up glass shards off the ground: carefully. My most recent heartbreak taught me to toughen up and that nothing was ever just 'soft.' It taught me that not everyone cared as much as I would, that life isn't fair, and that was something you just had to deal with. By the end of the relationship, my mental health was in the trash, I was underweight, sick with the flu, but worst of all, my heart was a stranger to me. I was a stranger to myself, and, ever since, I've refused to go back to that. The one thing that kept me going was this random TikTok that told me, "It will hurt less every day, even if it's a millimeter." It was right. It was millimeters, at first, but they became centimeters that lengthened into inches that turned into feet and meters. I did find myself again, months later, but I wouldn't be the same. I don't want to be that version of myself again. Ever. I'd never allow myself to be her, but I'd protect her with my life and hold her as she cried again and again.

Question #8: Physical features? Favorite ones?

Uh, I'm 5'6" if that matters? Brown hair, brown eyes; pale skin because I'm a coffee vampire. Acne (oof). Long-ish legs, built like a rectangle. Some scars here and there. Beauty marks, freckles. I really like my eyes and legs though, they're pretty dope and helpful.

Question #9: What is something random that you love?

Poetry. I express so much of myself with poetry and music constantly. It's a wonder how anyone is able to keep up with my nerdiness. Most times, it'd dumb love quotes, but some of them can get pretty funny too. Here are my favorites:

• "Tree-hugging dirt worshipper"
• "'And God said love your enemy' and I obeyed him and loved myself" - Kahlil Gibran
• "I feel like a time traveler: June, July, August. // Summer dissolves in my mouth, and I can't remember what it tasted like." - Zoe Lianne
• "I'm afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, I am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here." L.M. Dorsey

Yep, sucker for good ol' literature alright.

Final Question (Question #10): What would you do if you fell in love?

Tell my mom. Panic. I'm not really sure, to be very honest with you. I have other things to be really worrying about right now. Haha.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed my random question-answering bonanza as much as I did. Sometimes asking yourself questions – even basic ones – can remind you of things you forgot about. It's pretty cool. Anyhow, I hope everyone is having a good week, and that your coursework isn't horrid.

Peace, love, and lots of peanut butter,
Beatrice

Beatrice Glaviano '26 is a nutrition sciences major at the University of New Haven.